There are unwritten rules, of course, and those unwritten rules change with the dynamics of the particular persons involved.

In the bar there is a group of regulars where hugs and the occasional cheek kiss are exchanged on greetings and departures. In the holiday season: more so. There are unwritten rules, of course, and those unwritten rules change with the dynamics of the particular persons involved.

I am a recipient of kisses and hugs, and I give hugs back. I don't kiss: the women who kiss me I give a smile to in return: my kissing them would change the dynamic. The guys who kiss back are often returned to the hug-only category; sometimes they can be dropped from physical contact entirely. They probably don't even know what happened exactly, just: no more hugs.

It probably is obvious that the women initiate the behavior, and send the signals as to what is acceptable to them. What is acceptable from one guy is not acceptable from another, etc etc. Sometimes those signals are tough to deduce. The Enigma Machine wouldn't stand a chance.

So: you are leaving. Spirits are good, maybe the home team just won. One woman hugs you and kisses you on the cheek. Another woman hugs, no kisses. Another acknowledges your leaving with a smile. Don't cross the wires: a wrong step with one woman registers among the others. They will confer as a group and make a decision, all without talking, just the glance of an eye, perhaps. You will most likely be oblivious that it is happening.

Oh yeah: the women in this group are young and very good-looking. So that is its own dynamic right there. Obviously.



-james james

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