Sorry, Fat Gay Sam. Who is fat, and gay, but still not a great nickname.

A few days ago the Heimlich Guy showed up at the bar. He visits for a day or three, then disappears for a few weeks; repeat cycle. I don't believe he is one of the drunks who go sober for a bit, then fall off the wagon (repeat cycle): I don't think I've even seen him drunk. Two drinks or so, leaves.

Good clothes, but not expensive, nice haircut, but -- again -- not expensive: he probably works for the University in one of the offices in the area. He shows up at a time that is generally considered 'after work': he is not drinking on a lunch break. Unless he works a later shift; that's possible. Still: only two drinks.

His name is not Heimlich, nor does he probably know that the regulars call him Heimlich Guy. At the bar a lot of people are known by nicknames that they are not aware of. As you might imagine, not a lot of those nicknames are flattering: sorry, Fat Gay Sam. Who is fat, and gay, but still not a great nickname.

Anyway: the Heimlich Guy. Several months ago he was in the bar, drinking one of his two drinks, when a college girl started to choke on a Buffalo Wing. The college kids she was with panicked: they had no idea what to do. The Heimlich Guy did: he walked over, got behind her, and gave her the Heimlich Maneuver. The real Heimlich Maneuver, not some innuendo for something that 'Heimlich Maneuver' might be innuendo for, like when a man is behind a college girl, arms wrapped below her breasts.

She expelled the chicken: crisis averted. A life saved; a story to be told. And a minor legend created: Heimlich Guy. Who, as I said, probably has no idea that he is known as Heimlich Guy. 

So: a few days ago the Heimlich Guy showed up at the bar. He had his two drinks. No one was choking. And he left.



- james james

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