Maybe he tells a truth he shouldn't have said. Yeah, I slept with her. Like that.

There are a lot of types of people that frequent the bar. Maybe that's not true. Maybe there are only two or three types, and within each type is a factor of eccentricity that makes them seem more different than they really are. But each of these types has at least two types to themselves: how they are when they are sober, and how they are when they are drunk.

You know the main types: the happy drunk, the mean drunk, the emotional drunk. There are others, but those are probably the big three. Oh: and the drunk that just fell of the wagon. But in the space of an evening he will typically pass through all of those three types, and pretty much in that order. So it probably isn't worth splitting hairs.

But there is a type that encompasses all these types. I know: the math is getting confusing. How about: If we add 0 to any number, we will end up with the same number. How about we consider this the default and we will move on.

Anyway: the type that encompasses all these types is the one who will say things he will regret having said in the morning.

Maybe he tells a truth he shouldn't have said. Yeah, I slept with her. Like that.

Maybe he tells a lie he shouldn't have said: yeah, I slept with her.

Maybe he tells something he really didn't want to have said: yeah, I slept with him.

Because he is not gay. No, he's not. He was just drunk, that's all. Really drunk. Not even sure how it happened. Except: really drunk.

Which gets to another type: the one who, when drunk, tells everyone's secrets. As in: John slept with a dude.

The people who hear such things fall into types, too.

The one who won't say anything, because it is no one else's business. And the guy was really drunk.

The one who won't even remember the tale in question. Because he was really drunk.

And the one who, when drunk, tells everyone's secrets. He gets around a lot.

Please don't ask me to diagram this.



- james james

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