Drinking alcohol and watching cats act like jerks; it is a pleasant combination.

Television has a way of finding you. It is typically in your home, of course. The remote control is on your bed-stand, perhaps. It is in the airport, it is in the hospital waiting room, it is in the waiting room of the auto repair shop while you are getting your twenty-thousand-mile service. That car was new, once; now it is just your car. Television and waiting go together. And it is at the bar.

It is on when there are sports, obviously. But when the game is over it usually stays on, muted, because: jukebox. When the game is on a local station what follows is some off-brand show that the local stations buy to put on after games to fill air. A lot of shows about animals. People drink their drinks, look at the animals. The off-brand animal show makers should probably just put on cat videos from the internet: perfect for watching with the sound off. Drinking alcohol and watching cats act like jerks; it is a pleasant combination.

During the weekday afternoons, before the deluge of ESPN shows that show the same clips, in the same order, just with different hosts, there is Jerry Springer. I didn't know his show was still on the air. Maybe it is just repeats, I don't know.

Jerry Springer works well with the sound off while drinking a drink. I first found this surprising -- I thought the show was mostly about people yelling at each other -- but you don't need to hear them yelling when you can see them yelling. Yelling with poses that convey anger, indignation, and -- well -- mostly anger and indignation. But they helpfully put the title of the episode on the screen so you can see what they are yelling about. Cheating boyfriends, cheating girlfriends, questions of paternity. A certain strain of America that is in good context at the bar.

At these times the television chiefly serves as a light source, some movement to catch out of the corner of the eye: a fish bowl with brightly colored fish by turns hyperactive and hypnotic. Because if the televisions are off it makes it seem like the bar is closed. Sometimes you need televisions on so as to feel that at least something is happening. You are doing more than having a drink at the bar: you are having an experience. There is immersion. 

And you have a dive mask on, snorkeling.

- james james