Because I can be an asshole, I agree that Jackson is bad-ass, but he is not the biggest bad-ass in the movie.

A week or so ago I arrived at the bar to find a few of the regulars talking about the movie 'Pulp Fiction.' And it is a fun movie to talk about in a bar, although I haven't seen it in fifteen years or so. Maybe twenty. But I remember parts. You don't forget the gimp.

The older black man says he just watched it again: he has a VHS copy. People tell him he should get a DVD or BluRay of it, but he says he has already bought it once, that's enough.

Everyone agrees that Samuel L. Jackson is a bad-ass. Indeed: in the movie he does have a wallet that says 'Bad Mother Fucker', so that is added as proof, amongst other things. In the movie the hitman played by Jackson quotes the Bible, which everyone agrees is bad-ass. Which is funny, because most of them could care less about the Bible. Context, I guess.

Because I can be an asshole, I agree that Jackson is bad-ass, but he is not the biggest bad-ass in the movie. What the hell am I talking about? is pretty much the general response.

I point out that, when Travolta and Jackson run into trouble, they need to go see Harvey Keitel to save them: thus Harvey is the bigger bad-ass.

That's different, they say. Keitel is a boss, they agree, but Jackson is the bigger bad-ass. To which I reply that, when they need to clean the bloody car, Keitel makes Travolta and Jackson do it. Keitel is in charge: he is the bigger bad-ass.

There are more murmurs of discontent. So I push it a bit further. When it is time for Travolta and Jackson to be cleaned up after their bloody work it is Keitel who makes them undress, and then hoses them off. I repeat for effect: he makes them take off their clothes in the backyard, and he sprays his hose all over them. The innuendo of hose is not lost on the bar patrons: they get innuendo.

You can't be the biggest bad-ass if another man forces you to strip and then sprays his hose on you. Keitel sprayed his hose all over Samuel L. Jackson. There is grumbling, but I am not refuted. A few people agree that Harvey is a pretty good bad-ass: 'The Bad Lieutenant' is brought up as further evidence. The guy played 'Judas', for fuck's sake: of course he is bad-ass.

I then play "Jesus Christ Superstar" on the jukebox. The song is sung from the perspective of Judas. I consider it a kind of Victory Lap.

- james james

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